An Ode to a Old Friend...

Today is a rather heavy day. We had to euthanize Brian the dog, and I was not even there to say good bye - I was home taking care of R1 while Mrs Nitrox napped with R2.

Brian came to our lives almost 14 years ago, and was an almost constant companion of mine for the first half of his life. I remember that when we first got him, he was not yet fully weaned (over-eager seller lied about his age) and we had to get formula milk for puppies which cost more than infant baby milk. That sort of set the tone for the 1st 2 years of his life - a small and thin puppy, prone to skin disease, probably because he was weaned too early.

Thanks to the puppy formula milk, good food and some tender loving care (I remember taking turns with my parents to rub olive oil onto the dry and bare patches on his skin just about every night), he grew a beautiful brindle coat and was indeed a handsome dog. I used to play fetch with him for hours daily (how he loved those old tennis balls), and when I was getting ready for military service, he was a faithful and eager running companion. As a result of all that exercise, Brian grew into a pretty impressive dog - he was quite literarily rippling with muscles. :) He also had an exaggerated underbite, which gave him the look of an almost permanent snarl. I remember that when we walked or ran with him, passers by would sometimes stop and remark how imposing he looked. But we knew better - Brian was just a playful puppy wrapped in the form of a muscular, big dog.

When I got married and moved into an apartment, I had to leave him in the house with my parents, and that began the second half of his life as a guard dog and faithful companion to my parents. I still saw him regularly whenever we visited my parents, but Brian had become "my parent's dog". Being animal lovers themselves, the bond between my parents and Brian deepened very quickly. I remember going over to feed and water him when my parents were out of town, and how much Brian missed them in those occasions. The neighbours used to complain that he would howl at night when my parents were away!

The last 6 months or so has been terrible for Brian. He was diagnosed with heart-worms, and was frequently ill, especially in the last couple of months thanks to the very wet monsoon season. For the last month, he has been persistently coughing/choking, and had difficulty even getting up - my parents had to carry him so he could stand up and pee, and his appetite has been even worse than normal. The vets said he only had a matter of months before expiring as he was getting so old. Before leaving for Sydney, I advised my parents to consider putting Brian to sleep - I didn't think he was comfortable, and I could tell it was getting tough for my parents to continue taking care of him with their aching back and knees. Still, they persisted - they just could not bear to part with their old friend. Last week, while I was away, he got really bad - the vets diagnosed liver failure and fluid in his lungs, and Brian started howling at night and got us really worried that he was in pain. My father decided that if he does not get any better by today, we would euthanize him.

And that's what happened today - we let our dear friend go. My parents seem to be okay, but they have never been public with their grief. Mom admitted that she felt terrible a few days ago when the vet suggested euthanasia, but has come to accept that if he was in pain, we should let him go in peace. Me? I'm glad to know that he is no longer in pain, but feeling lousy that I was not there to say goodbye. Somehow I always pictured that I would be there cradling him as they injected him, but when the time came, I wasn't there. I was too busy.

Brian, you have been more than a dog, more than a friend... You have been a very real and precious part of our family. I thank the Lord for blessing us with you, and hope that as you closed your eyes for the last time today, you were thinking of the balls you chased, the smiles we shared, the warm nights out on the patio, and the butter rolls you loved.

Train safe everyone, and God Speed.